Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Asking for Help.

As I write this, I am starting at 12:22 A.M. I am tired, but I can't sleep, too much is running through my mind. I am concerned, worried, and a bit out of sorts. I have work, and yet I am worried about where the next paycheck will come from (working as a freelance artist sucks for job security) and I am worried about how I will honor my commitments on projects. I am producing a reading on the 22nd of March, and the venue costs $250 dollars. At the moment, that is more than is in my bank account. There is a job in between then and now, but I worry about how much I will have left over from that paycheck afterwards.

This worrying about money has put a dent in my creative process. It is very hard to work when you can't focus, and the monetary issues are throwing themselves to the fore. The worst aspect for me was before I finished a gig this week, when I had to wish my father a "Happy Birthday" and I could not afford to get him a single thing, as my back account was overdrawn.

I worry, every single day. There is so much I want to do, starting an urban farm in the Hill District, heading down and producing a small show at the New Orleans Fringe Festival, and at some point in the not distant future, biking across the U.S. I know these are large goals. I worry that I am not up to them.

Most of all, I worry if I am actually making a difference. That point right there is deadly for when you are trying to work as an artist. It is a tightrope act, you are going to fall if you slow, or look down. Self-doubt saps creative energy like nothing else. As I turned 25, I promised myself that I would change the world somehow by the time I am 30. I have 1,684 days to accomplish this.

And it still comes back to money. Money to rent theater space, build props. Money to travel, money to eat. Money to have the supplies to accomplish all that I want to accomplish. Money to give toys to children who have nothing at Christmas (another project I'm working on.) It always seems to come back to money.

I recently saw a TED talk by Amanda Palmer, where she discussed the fright of asking for help. Some say it is indicative of not having a "real" job, or of some sort of begging. She differed greatly, saying that no, it was about building a community. People coming together to accomplish something, that is the definition of community.

To that end, I am breaking down. In order to accomplish my goals, I am laying out exactly what I need, and for what project. If you would like to help me, please do not hesitate to contact me, either at my email (andrewhuntleyfx@gmail.com) or my phone (412-523-9882). Thank you if you can help.

What is needed:

  • $250.00 (to rent a theater to perform "8" as a free public reading.)
  • Vegetable seeds, and gardening know-how (Urban Farm in the Hill District)
  • Food and Snacks for 40 people (Volunteers for the 14/48 Theater Festival, Pittsburgh)
  • Musicians who would want to collaborate and head out of town.
  • Unwrapped toys (These will be distributed to lower income families, and to children in domestic abuse shelters at Christmas)
  • Someone who knows about bike-building
I know it is a varied list, but the potential for something life changing can be affected with each and every item. I don't know what to expect of this. These are the things I need help with. Can you help?

Andrew W. Huntley II
Freelance Struggling Artist

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