Monday, February 24, 2014

Thoughts on a Crisis in Faith

When one thinks of a "crisis of faith" one has a tendency to think of the divine. My problem is unfortunately much more profane than that. As I sat and watched my father fade out again, I was struck by how poor my father's medical care was (and is) and how it is affecting my faith.
Once again, not in God. I still need some omnipotent target for my anger.
The faith I am slowly losing is my faith in man. For many years, I have lived with the philosophy of Moliere, "for the love of humanity." But watching my father be so ill, and watching the tragedy of errors at the hospital has made me wonder if humanity in fact deserves that love.
Man is a great and terrible creature, able to inflict harm or do good with a single thought, word, or gesture. As of late, I wonder if the better nature of man is going to win, and for once in my life, I am not so sure that it will.
I am growing tired of being constantly disappointed in my fellow man. To expect the best of each person, only to have my (what is unfortunately an) illusion shattered each time. And while this is going on, one profound quote echoes through my mind over and over again: "What is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me.

Ps: Projects accomplished today include two hats, one infant and one adult.

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